Time
Time never changes. It unfortunately (and fortunately) never slows down. Story time.
It’s cold. Snow litters the ground and chills my southern bones. It’s 8 am and we’re getting in the car, bound for the Appleton, WI airport. Somehow the weather seems to affect me less than it has in the past week-and-a-half, perhaps it’s just the thought of knowing it’ll be over soon. I brush the snow off the handle of the car door and get inside, immediately sitting on my hands to alleviate the horrible burning sensation that winter causes. The car stutters, but starts.
It’s a short drive to the airport, only 20 minutes or so away. A ever-present ‘impending doom’ feeling pushes the car along the salted highway, closer and closer to my destination—loneliness. The car pulls into the short term parking lot and we emerge to feel the wind whip us once more. It’s the final whip for me, as I’ll be through with it for a long time: I have no clue when I’ll be back for winter. I rush toward the door of the airport, eager only to get to warmth, not my destination.
The airport is warm. Small, warm, cozy, inviting… and yet I can’t stay. Sigh. We make our way to the United counter, the only counter that has anyone waiting. After a few minutes I’m all checked in and we head closer to the security gate. We stop.
Embracing, tears, kisses and “I love you“‘s are seen in the tiny, quiet airport. All eyes are on us as we sit on the center bench and say our goodbyes. 73 days. That’s the next time we see each other. It’s hard knowing it’s going to be so long, but comforting knowing that 119 days passed so quickly. She tells me not to look back. I don’t.
The security gate in Appleton is tiny. The employees move your stuff along the line as they talk about the latest movies they’ve seen amongst themselves. One guy went on and on about Get Smart. Haven’t seen it.
I get to the gate, and sit down. A few seconds later my phone beeps: the text reads “I love you”. I call her immediately but can only manage to catch half of her words through the incredibly loud crying. With the plane boarding, I tell her Chicago is an hour away, and hang up. I board the plane, seat 4B.
It’s a short flight. Shorter than usual since I managed to sleep. The night before, the girl and myself only managed an hour of rest, so it’s no wonder, I guess. Falling asleep was the best thing for me, really, as I felt sick to my stomach getting on the plane. There’s this weird feeling of ‘should I really be heading back there?’ that goes through my mind. Even if just for a moment, I sometimes believe maybe I should run back through security, get my bag, and live there. Then I remember it’s freezing and I hate it. So much for that idea.
I arrive at Terminal F, but leave from Terminal C. With O’Hare being as huge as it is, it takes me roughly 20 minutes to walk to my departing terminal. As it would happen, all the good restaurants were in Terminal F. With no time to walk back, I settle on two double cheeseburgers from McDonald’s. I sit down at my gate and start on my first burger. As I listen to the folks next to me converse in some foreign language, a thought enters my head. Why do I consider someone eating a quad-burger a pig when eating two double cheeseburgers is the same thing? After this insightful revelation of how fat I would inevitably become, I ate the second burger. Being the typical American I am, I had a large fry and coke to go with the burgers, which I finished quickly as well.
I called the girl back, and a few hours had made a difference. The crying had ceased, all was well again. I told her I’d call her in Charlotte, then boarded the plane.
The events leading up to this? On December 21st I left Myrtle Beach, SC for Appleton, WI. I spent Christmas and New Years with my girl. I finally met her family (60+ people) on both her parent’s sides. From what I can see (and what she says), they’re pretty happy with me. Good. Acceptance is something you can never have too early, I suppose. In one week, Mallory and myself will have been together for 10 months. In those 10 months we have seen each other 4 times, a total of 34 days. Yes, our relationship is a strained and strange one, and yet we’re closer than most other couples I know. In a way, the 1,000 miles between us has made it stronger. We know everything about each other because we talk all the time (I’m sure my roommate Alex can wholeheartedly concur with this). As much as I want to be with her, I’m thankful for the distance. It’s weird to say that, I guess, but we have to get used to it for the next 3 years anyway. By that time, I’m sure we’ll be more inseparable than I already think we are.
Interested in the trip itself? Here’s the abridged version: travel, cold, lost luggage, surprise mallory, meeting nicole, mal’s dead car, found luggage, mal’s revived car, sushi, movies, mother christmas, mallory gets her presents, father christmas, ben and steph, rapids, michelle, movies, the 10,000 song transfer, movies, mexican in the trunk, meeting eric and anton, perkins dinner, blue drank quest, happy new years, happy new years again, shawshank redemption, junk food, falling asleep for an hour, cinnamon rolls, heading to the airport. “I’ll elaborate later” is a dirty, filthy lie, so I’ll just tell you upfront this is probably all you’ll ever get. We also took less than 10 photos in my 11 day stay, which just lets me know we were much too busy having a good time, which we did.
Miss you, Mal. March will be here soon.
Oh yeah, one more thing: I’ve apparently been keeping this blog for one year now. Awesome. Feel free to go back and see how much has changed in the past year. Happy new year, everyone. Hope 2009 is as great as 2008.
